I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you had me at cake vodka
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
