he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
