this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
