Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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