Don't you send me to vm
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
