How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
