She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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