guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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