i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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