i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
