you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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