i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
