He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
