that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
