im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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