okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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