Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
