So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
