What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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