Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
