It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
