So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
