i permit you to call me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
