for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
