no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
