I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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