Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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