Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
