I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
