What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can Purell be used as lube?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
