We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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