My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
