She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
