Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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