we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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