Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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