every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
