when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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