i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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