We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
