My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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