last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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