I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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