"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
