4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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