didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
