So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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