they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
