So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
