well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
